How to Get Back in the Dating Market After a Breakup
How to Get Back
Grieve: Cry if you want, scream if you want, and let out your anger if you want. If you need help getting through this grief period, there are tons of resources online.
Cut off contact: Cut off all contact with your ex. Block their phone number, deny them access to your social media and email, and delete their number from your contact list. Delete photos of the two of you on social media, and at least for now, block their family and close friends. It’s tempting to contact them or check their feeds to find out about your ex, but resist.
Say no to being friends: It’s too early to say that you’re still friends, and the wounds are still raw and painful.
Keep a journal: During your recovery, write down your feelings and emotions to “release” your pain on paper. This will help you avoid dwelling on these negative emotions and prevent them from accumulating.
Go with the flow: You will be swept by various emotions again and again, so don’t resist them. Feel them, embrace them, and let yourself immerse in them for a while. If you suppress them, the pain will follow you.
Use music to heal: Some people find comfort in sad breakup songs, while others prefer passionate or even angry breakup songs. Think about what kind of songs touch you more, create a playlist, and play it while driving or doing housework, and sing along loudly.
Plan a new future: If you have been in a long-term relationship, you may have made plans for the future. But now that those plans have come to nothing, it’s time to rethink your future. Think about what you want to do, where you want to go on vacation, and even whether you want to go back to school. During this period of negative emotions, focusing on yourself can add a lot of positive energy.
Start exercising: If you don't have a regular exercise routine, start it. Sign up for a gym membership, start running, or sign up for a yoga class. Physical activity promotes the secretion of endorphins, which are hormones that make people feel good.
Don't act rashly: Making big decisions during this period is likely to lead to big mistakes. We've all heard about people who got a "breakup haircut" and immediately regretted it, and the same goes for quitting a job or getting a tattoo.
Re-engage in old hobbies: Think about the things you put aside when you were in a relationship because your partner didn't have interest or didn't like them. Now you can pick them up again. It may be as simple as eating a favorite food or as complex as getting a pet.
Deepen your self-analysis: This is a crucial self-analysis. Think about whether you are too accommodating to others? Have you lost too much of yourself in this relationship? Are you too demanding and controlling? How is your communication? What is missing in this relationship? Once you have this clear, you will know what you really want in a new relationship.
Don’t get stuck in the “what if” cycle: The past is the past, and your current task is to be positive and strong through the grief period and be ready to start again.
Learn to pamper yourself: Now is the time to treat yourself. Go buy some new clothes or buy something you have been thinking about, which can instantly improve your mood.